There's Always Room for Shoes!

If not, we'll make room. I moved to the East Village back in 2008. I was so excited to have my very own space on the Island of Manhattan. Even if it was only a 6' by 9' room it was still my very own. 

If the room was that small we can only imagine what the closet size was? Or the fact that there was closet! I could fit about 2 pairs of shoes on the floor of it.

That wasn't going to work. Where were the other 53 pairs going to go?

Wood work by Robert Nicol

I needed to come up with a solution. I thought, "I don't have floor space but I do have wall space. Why not build up?" A boarder, not your traditional boarder but a boarder of shoes. 

Thank god for 9' foot ceilings and a friend who can build things out of wood. My friend Rob built a shelf going along the top part of one of the walls. That was nice for the storage space but I wanted it to look cool too.

To stream line the look I ordered white shoe boxes from Uline and borrowed my roommates polaroid camera. I was able to fit most of my shoes on the the shelf. Then, I got one of those hanging shoe shelves to put in the closet for the rest.

It's funny that the thought of getting rid of any of shoes never came to mind. 

I always thought one day I'd have 100 pairs of shoes! Well...I just counted and I now only have 34.

I help people clear their clutter by letting go of things that don't serve them anymore. This allows to make room to invite the things they want into their life. And that includes shoes.

Of course, I do the same for myself. I remember trying on all those shoes, plus more, when I moved into my new place in LA. I had more closet space but did I want to fill it with shoes I didn't use? All the shoes that didn't fit right, I didn't really like, were out of style or hurt my feet, I donated. The ones that were old and worn I threw out. 

Believe me, it was hard to get rid of my Marc Jacobs and John Fluevogs but I never wore them. The Fluevog soles were still in perfect condition 5 years later!

If you looked in your closet today I'm sure you would be able to donate a few pairs of shoes and not even miss them. 

It always come back to quality not quantity. I love and wear all the shoes I have today. I'm just making room for those Jimmy Choo's to come into my life:)

Keeping it Simple with Flowers.

Photos by Kyle Hackenberg

Getting flowers is the best way to instantly feel lighter and brighter. 

I remember thinking who cares if I don't get flowers, they're just going to die anyway. Now looking back I think deep down I felt I didn't deserve the beauty of flowers around me. I was not worthy of such excess. So different now.

My boyfriend gets me flowers every week. Just when I think he will forget he walks in with another big beautiful bouquet and it always makes me feel special.  

I'm not sure why but he bought me two bouquets last week instead of one, maybe he did something wrong? Anyway, there were so many flowers in all these different colors I wasn't sure what to do with them.

I thought, I'm going to split them up. I put the red and white ones in a vase and placed them in the back right corner of the bedroom. This would be the relationship area, of the Feng Shui Bague map, of the room. Why not spice things up using the color red with flowers? I also put the purple flowers in the far left back area of the apartment to boost abundance. The few that were left were these happy yellow flowers. I placed them in the middle of the apartment for the health area. 

So, if you're feeling a little heavy and dull change it up and get yourself some flowers. I think this is the simplest way to enhance any mood, room and possible romance;)

Want to attract great things in your life? Get strong magnets!

Oh, the good old vision board. Is it working? What should I have on it? Where should I put it? Should I hide it when guests come over?

I struggled with this. However, I’m a believer now, if you have something up that you see everyday it will get you closer to achieving your goals.

I had a “make shift” vision board about 10 months ago. It was a huge white dry eraser board. I wrote out a 40 before 40 list. It was a vision right there on my bedroom wall for me to see everyday.

I had to come up with 40 things so I wrote down anything I could think of like; in a committed relationship, NYC, not have a roommate, get my business license, California plates etc…small or big it was on there.

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Photo by Kyle Hackenberg

I'm now 40 years and 4 days old, writing a blog (who knew) in my nice one bedroom apartment, owning my own business, just getting back from a week long vacation in NYC with my awesome boyfriend saying “Could it have been because of the dry eraser board?”

Either way, mine is now my refrigerator for all to see when they come over. I got these extremely strong magnets at Paper source. I love that store! I even cut out their tag line that they have on their shopping bags Do something creative every day and put that up on my “fridsion board”. I have pictures of an outdoor patio set with cool lights and a cement frog that I want to pics of house's in Malibu and Montauk. Hey, you have to put it out there.

You never know how it will happen so don’t question it so much.

So go ahead, put things up on the fridge with really strong magnets and believe that the things you want are gravitating your way.

I got hooked up.

I have the worlds smallest closet...ok, ok, maybe not the smallest but it sure felt that way. With every passing day I would go to get dressed and be graciously reminded of the small inadequate space I had. Getting dressed in the morning, or on a lazy day dressed in the afternoon, I dreaded finding something to wear.

I thought what can I do to gain more space? Of course, the first thing was get rid of some something but I have already been through my clothes for fall and spring. Anything I didn't wear last year I already gave away this year. I will do this again at the end of the summer but I need space now.

As I'm looking through I thought, here's a robe I never wear. I've always wanted to be a robe person. I see people in movies all the time enjoying a nice cup of coffee in their robe or just getting out of the shower and putting on the fluffy robe. Don't judge me but I have had this robe since high school! I can safely say now that it is never going to happen, I am never going to be a robe person. So in the bag it went and donated to D.A.R.E. with a few other items.

I encourage you, if anyone is reading this, to get rid of that outfit you always thought you were going to wear but never had the perfect event to wear it to. My "event" was just getting out of the shower. Give it to someone who needs it more than you do.

Ok, I just gained an inch. Now for these scarves that I have hanging on one hanger. I always forget about the ones toward the back of the hanger. I'm a "I need to see it or I'll forget about it" type of person. Then I thought wall and vertical space.

I went out and bought some hooks, 6 to be exacted, for all around $15 and it changed my mornings and sometimes afternoons.

Now my scarves are hanging on the hooks where I can see all of them. Across from them I hung another hook for my wristlets. I have a hook on the back of the door that I hang potential clothing options for the day. I hung a hook up high to hang a bag that contains extra hanger and small travel bags that I don't use often to free up more room.

With the extra space on the bar I hung a shoe organizer. It is now home to my clutches and dress shoes.

I didn't think it could make such a difference but it did. I'm happy I got hooked up.

I'll take a latte with a career change on the side.

I thought it would be just another day at the retail store and in walks Danielle Dowling. As I was helping her pick out a gift, we got to talking and it turns out that she’s a Life Coach. I was having some thoughts about my life and where it was going (no where), so I asked if we could grab a coffee.

As we sat down with our lattes I tell her what is going on with me and say how much I love acting. However, I just keep spending more and more money on acting classes and meeting casting directors and it was getting me nowhere. I tell her, "I just think I’m not very good at auditioning, and I’ve been trying to improve but it’s not working."

Danielle, with her eye opening question says, “Maybe you've tried hard enough to be an actor and you’re done with that?” I was like, "What? I’m just done with it?"

I respond back with, "How can I just be done with acting? I’ve been an actor for as long as I can remember. I went to school for acting. I’ve had all these dead end jobs so that I would be available for auditions. I’ve been a starving artist for this long with nothing to show for it just to say, “I’m done with that?”

Well, now that I say it out loud, I think you might be right…

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"You know what Danielle? I’ve actually been thinking about starting a decluttering/organizing business. It's something that I really enjoy and I’m good at it!

Next thing you know she becomes my first client and I organized under her bathroom sink.

Sometimes it’s hard to visualize a better future for yourself. I was so caught up in this idea of myself that I created in my early 20’s, now in my 30’s, it’s just not who I am anymore. I needed someone like Danielle to tell me that.

Check out her website at danielle-dowling.com It will boost your spirit.

Lost in the Mail

My mom’s packages got lost in the mail…my sister, after a few weeks realized it was actually a good thing. 

My mom lives in Calabria, Italy. She packed eight large boxes of stuff to mail back to herself when she was visiting my sister in Savannah, GA. “Some things you just can’t get in Italy” she said. Tin foil…well really silly things in my opinion but I try to come from a non-judgmental place. It was over $1000 worth of stuff plus the expensive shipping costs.

Also, my sister was giving away some old things she didn’t want anymore. As our mother is looking through the boxes for Good Will she said “Why would you want to get rid of these beautiful champagne glasses? I’ll take them! One day you might want them back.” My mother never gets rid of anything. For my sister they were just dusty glasses from a previous marriage she knew she never wanted to see again. There were some other items as well that just reminded her of times she could care less to recall.

Then, the packages never showed up in Italy. For weeks and weeks my mother would call my sister, “but where are my packages? All my things” She would say with such distress. “Go down there and talk to him! Ask him where they are!” When my mom called me to tell me what happened my response was “Chalk it up to a loss, you really don’t need any of that stuff anyway. Just take it as a sign”.  She wasn’t thrilled with that response.

I have to say, my sister is very persistent when she wants to be. After calling the packing store numerous times, four visits to the location, a few calls to the corporate office and a claim at the BBB she is now on a payment plan with the store to receive $850 back from the lost packages.

Of course, my mom gave her a list right away of things to buy with the money because she really needed them.

My sister called to tell me that she feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders because of this situation with our mom’s stuff. Then she said “You know what? I’m happy those boxes got lost in the mail with my old things. I never wanted to see them again and now when I go to visit mom next month, I won’t be running into my old baggage.”

I guess even your own stuff can weigh down other people. My sister has been anchored down for months over this. All for some tin foil and old glasses. Also, with the possibility of being reminded of something she wanted to move on from but someone else wasn’t letting her.

We have had some really rough times with our mom. A hard and rocky past but even still, she is our mother. I hope one day she will realize that even if she got rid of all of the stuff in her enormous house, there still won’t be enough room to fit all the love that my sister and I have for her.

My confession…my sister was getting rid of this set of four, hand painted, burgundy wine glasses and I told her to send them to me. This time using USPS. They still haven’t arrived. It has been 3 weeks but I’m not going to call my sister and tell her. I'll just take it as a sign.

In Praise of Less Stuff

“Considering one’s own mortality is a great reminder that today’s all we've got. There’s nothing wrong with stuff. But I want to spend less time cleaning, organizing and thinking about mine. I have too many other things still to do.”

—Donna Brazile
Oprah Magazine, 13 New Rules of Decluttering

I think Donna sums up her article on decluttering very well with the On-line Oprah Magazine. I would like to add we still have too many memories to make. Why are we are so busy with how will we keep the past alive? All the while, we are missing out on the day at hand.

I am all about keeping the best and get rid of the rest. Well now I am…

I used to take pictures everywhere I went and of everyone I knew. Before the digital age and well after it. I kept movie stubs and receipts from restaurants. I’d cut out parts of fliers just to remember the day and time. I would write down who I was with because I didn’t want to forget anything.

I was creating memories with these photo albums I was filling. I was scrap booking before it became a thing. Every year I would have another album, sometimes two. I would sit down for hours to make sure that everything was in chronological order. I would write something someone had said that day or weekend that was funny.

Years and years had past and I kept going. I would look at these books and be proud of my work of how organized I was and how I care about the people in my life and the memories we had made.

As I look back I realize when I would peruse through them I was more impressed with my work then the memories themselves. Every time I moved I would have to have so many extra large boxes just for my photo albums but they always came with me.

I would see these books all lined up neatly on the shelves of my bookcase and think without these I would never remember my past. These albums are who I am. If there was ever a fire I know I would grab these and make the trips back and forth and put my own life in danger. What was my life anyway if I didn’t have these photo albums to validate it?

When I moved to the east village I started to declutter my life. I really got rid of everything. I was living in a 6’ by 9’ room where every inch of space was so important. For some reason I couldn’t get rid of these albums. I had someone custom make shelves just so I could keep them with me. If I had nothing else at least I my albums.

I was literally being suffocated by my own memories.

Now living in LA where space is much more prominent for me I still didn’t want to lose this minimalist quality that I acquire by living in NYC. I got so good at organizing small spaces and really learning to let go of things that I started my own business helping others. To keep up I am always reading books on decluttering and organizing. I came across one called Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston and I’m still amazed at the impact it had on me.

Karen goes into detail about how everything holds energy. Subconsciously we are picking up on the good and the bad energy of our stuff. She was helping a woman clean out old memorabilia; old birthday cards, letters, photos of people she did or didn’t talk to anymore. As she was going through them they made her sad at the lost friendships or bad endings. It was here, from Karen, I got the motto “Keep the best and get rid of the rest!”

So I took a long look all my photo albums. Who am I to tell people how to let go when I have been holding on so tightly? I put all those albums on my dining room table opened a bottle of wine and said to myself I’m going to keep the best and get rid of the rest! I’m only going to keep pictures from the good memories and people I care about and/or still keep in touch with.

Hours and hours later I was left with a stack, about 4 inches high, of photos that still bring me much joy as I look at them. I threw out the pictures of when I went to St Martin and got into a fight with my employer who sent me there. I got rid of the pictures from Atlantic City when my mother and I were at our worst. The pictures of the guy I really liked that never wanted to date me. I still love the picture of my sister and I when we were downtown in Savannah or the picture of my girlfriends that I still can call and it is like only a day has passed since the last time we spoke. The picture of me in the dress my mother made me at the wedding where the couple is actually still together.

I went out and bought one photo album to put all my wonderful memories in. However, I never got around to it. I hold these memories in my heart now. I look forward to taking many more mental pictures of the good times I share with my friends and family.

When it’s my time to go I will be able to take those with me.